Thursday, December 29, 2011

End of 2011... and my resolution

I have mixed emotions.... its been quite a trying year.

I wont lie: I thought for sure I would be pregnant by now... I knew full well it would take a few months; I assumed it would happen without thought just like with Landon. But it hasnt.... its going on six months now and Im really starting to feel the sting of defeat.

At the same time I know whenever we do get our positive, it will all be worth the wait and heartbreak. It will make us appreciate all those special moments of pregnancy. I will revel in the thrill of getting our positive test and the doctor visits.... all the pains, nausea, nights spent tossing and turning, feeling everything from the first few flutters to full blown kicking and rolling and hiccups... yeah, all of it will be savored and welcomed.

I also realize that God isnt trying to torment us... Hes just picking out the perfect angel to send down to us. I know He is taking His time matching our second angel to us. It will all happen in His time.... but man, am I anxious and impatient.

My resolution for 2012 is to work on being a more patient, less anxious me. A toast to the new year!!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

A new beginning.. and a rant.

FINALLY my cycle started over.... after 66 miserable, incredibly long days, my period came. I am on cycle day 3 now. Awesome.

(Warning, Rant ahead!)
On an entirely different note, have you ever just wanted to take your husband, your child(ren) and yourself and run FAR, FAR away from everybody and everything? I am tired of people judging my life. It is completely ridiculous for me to want people in my life to be happy for us? Get your nose out of my business. I'm sorry if you get pulled in but it's just as easy for you to take a step back and stay out of whatever "bad" is happening in my life. Whatever is wrong, my HUSBAND and I will figure a way out of it TOGETHER and we do not need anybody in the peanut gallery to stand by and comment. Don't judge.... don't be bitter.... you are either happy for us or you can go fly a kite. Think we are making mistakes? We are human... chances are we ARE making mistakes here and there.. but we will figure it out. Butt out and please leave my life.

Ok, I'm done. Just needed to be said. This was meant for more than one certain person or group of people. If you are wondering if it COULD be you, only you can know for sure. I don't want to be some over-dramatic ghetto-fied person, but seriously.... leave your negativity out of my life. I don't need it, my husband doesn't need it, and my son CERTAINLY doesn't need it. Thanks.