L&D story for Caius

Today, Caius is 2 weeks old! I cannot believe how quickly time has gone... and that it's taken me this long to write out his birth story! I am such a slacker... lol!

As everybody knows, I went in Wed the 3rd for my final prenatal appointment hoping and praying he would either A) induce me that day, B) offer to induce me, or C) listen to my pathetic cries to be induced and agree. To my dismay, he didn't want to induce me that day... but after a couple minutes of me complaining about not being able to keep up with Landon and being so uncomfortable it was becoming difficult to walk, etc, he asked me what I wanted to do. He had quite a giant beaming smile when I told him, "I want you to induce me... I am DONE being pregnant." So, our "appointment" for induction was set and we were to be at the labor and delivery ward of the hospital 6am Friday the 5th. This disappointment me a bit as well, as I was hoping to be taken after my appointment or the following morning (Thursday the 4th). His rational was, "Take one more full day to be a parent to one, as you will likely never have this opportunity again after Friday."

Landon and I spent the following day together running final errands, we went to lunch, and we had a great time together playing at the park. We came home and I ran around like a mad man cleaning our house (for the 1000 time) and triple checking that I had everything I wanted/needed for the hospital. I started to get emotional over the thought of becoming a Mommy to two instead of just Landon... typical jitters and nervousness any other mother has before having another baby. My mother-in-law took Landon for the night/next day, and then it was just Alex and I for the rest of the night.

Of course, I couldn't sleep too well... I was anxious for my pregnancy to FINALLY be over (Friday the 5th I was one day shy of being 41 weeks... barf) and my mind started thinking of all the complications that could occur... needless to say, I got about 5 hours of broken-up sleep (interrupted by the fact that I had to pee throughout the night).

So, Alex and I get up around 4:30am on Friday, get ourselves ready, enjoy our last few minutes alone together in quiet, and then head out to the hospital. We arrived and were checked in... after the initial questioning of my family history of health problems and etc, and then she asked if I had eaten or drank anything past midnight to which I told her I had made some fresh juice to drink that morning (juiced some plums, strawberries, apples and carrots).... she started going on about how my induction would have to be delayed and the anesthesiologist was going to be upset... I laughed and said I wasn't told to abstain from eating, and I don't know why I would need an epidural right off the bat before contractions actually started. Apparently the nurse thought I was going to be having a c section... my heart had jumped into my throat at that point. I told her I didn't *think* I was there for a c section, just a regular pitocen drip or what have you... she left for a few minutes to "double check" and I started to feel hysterical. Upon her coming back, she announced that I was correct and that my juice breakfast was acceptable, lol.

Then it was time to get the needle into my arm for my I.V. ... as many of you know, this is around the time with Landon's induction that Alex became ill and passed out cold in the room, slamming his head against the very hard wall and had to be taken to the ER for a few hours to get some tests done to make sure he was ok..... this time around, he sat in the corner reading his book while the nurse attempted to get the I.V. in. She first tried in my inner arm and FAILED miserably... to the point that she burst something in my arm... it was horrible pain and I got VERY light-headed... not a good thing to be when you are just barely beginning your labor journey... After getting me to feel better and stable again, she quickly checked my hand for a vein, found one and jabbed it in. Normally, needles and I.V.'s done bother me as long as I don't watch them put them in... but these suckers HURT!

Anyway, moving on.... around 7am they finally got my pitocen to start and at this point I had a new nurse. I really liked her! She was with me for a good 97% of my labor. I started off at 3.5cm dilated, having mild contractions on my own every 10-15 minutes. By 8am, they had picked up and were coming every 5-6 minutes and were a bit stronger. My doctor also came in at this time to check me... I was at 4cm. He decided to break my water as well. Everything started to pick up VERY quickly after that. As he was leaving, he told me I could get an epidural whenever I wanted and that he would see me at pushing time.

Soon after that, my contractions started coming no more than 3 minutes apart. I was hoping to get a nap in before my contractions intensified... with Landon, they didn't pick up or start getting painful until a good 4-5 hours into my labor. With Caius, they were pretty intense by 9am, two hours after my pitocen had started. Alex kept asking if I wanted him to let the nurse know I wanted an epidural, and I kept pushing it off thinking that I would hold off as long as I could.

My nurse came in around 9:30, a bit worried, as Caius' heartrate would drop significantly after each contraction... leading her to believe that his head was being compressed. She had me roll onto my side and stay that way for quite a while. His heartrate steadied itself and I was instructed to lay on my side "probably" until it was time to push. She monitored several contractions to make sure all was well, and around 10 she checked me (I was at 5.5cm) and asked if I wanted an epidural, as my contractions were "pretty intense" according to the monitor they had on my belly. I told her no, and she left. At around 10:30, I decided it was a dumb idea to not accept the epidural. I really wanted to get a nap in before Caius came, and I know how quickly things can progress towards the end.

The anesthesiologist was a very sweet guy, but unfortunately it took 3 tries to get the needle into my back. The actual needle being put in didn't bother me, but my contractions were quite strong and it was difficult to stay COMPLETELY motionless like he was requesting. After getting it in, they were going to do a "test run" to make sure it was put in successfully. I ended up vomiting at this point... I'm guessing it was from anxiety. After about 5 minutes, I felt much better. It was determined all was well with the epidural and he turned it on.

It was about 11:30 when he left the room, and Alex decided he was going to go get some lunch for himself while I tried to nap. Between 11:30 and 12:30 (when Alex came back) I got MAYBE 20 minutes of sleep in... the nurse had to wake me though because I had rolled onto my back, causing his heartrate to drop again after contractions. I rolled onto my other side and all was well in the world...

At 1pm, my nurse came in and introduced the next nurse that would be caring for me. She put a catheter in and checked me before she left and said I was at 6cm. I was a little let down by that number, as I was SURE I would have been farther along by that point... I was ready to accept that it would be an INCREDIBLY long day though. My new nurse was a great nurse as well, and she left the room to let me attempt to nap again. By this point, I was starting to feel more discomfort again so I pushed the button on my epidural to give it another "boost".

I instantly felt the cold surge go into my back. I waited a good 10 minutes or so and realized that the discomfort wasn't going away... and it was VERY awkward. To put it bluntly, it was a pressure that felt like I needed to make a #2... lol! I called the nurse and said, "I think I need to have a bowel movement..." and so she came in about 5 minutes later and grabbed a bed pan.... At this point, it's about 1:20pm. She asked me a couple questions about the "pressure" and I said it might have just felt weird because I was laying on my side. She decided to check me again, even though I had been checked 20 minutes earlier.

I was 10 centimeters and Caius' head was in the birth canal, trying to make his way out! I was in absolute SHOCK that I went from 6cm to 10 and ready to push in 20 minutes... WOW!

They called my doctor to come deliever me and started setting up the room. Another nurse (for Caius) came in and set up her stuff. It was at that point that I started REALLY feeling the need to push... it was SO hard not to push. My doctor showed up promptly, and the nurses were conversing with him about how he has a record for NOT cutting women in labor that was pretty impressive. With Landon, I tore a little bit and he was my doctor, but they were right... he never once cut me. We got down to business and within about 5 minutes of his arrival, I had pushed Caius out! The cord was wrapped around his neck a good 2-3 times too... something else Landon didn't have.

Caius Jarett Thurmer was born October 5th, 2012 at 1:36pm weighing 8lbs, 14oz (AFTER peeing all over his nurse!) and was 21.5" long. He was quite a hefty fella! They cleaned him off while he layed on me (something else I didn't get with Landon... I got to see him being held by the doctor, and then they whisked him away to clean him up and get his stats taken care of..) I actually ended up with tears in my eyes when he was out. I didn't cry or tear up with Landon either... but FINALLY having Caius here was just an overwhelming emotion... it was all very cliche =)

My doctor announced at the end of all the shenanigans that I had absolutely NO tearing and he didn't have to cut me at all again. It was INCREDIBLE. My recovery has been quick and virtually painless. The only "pains" I had around my "lady parts" was mild burning from my catheter being inserted/removed and that disappeared in a matter of 36 hours.

Caius is SUCH a great baby. He hardly cries and is easily soothed. As I mentioned in my previous blog, he is a GREAT breast feeder which was all I could have hoped for. He eats and sleeps so well... he gives me 4-5 hours of straight sleep every night initially, and wakes up every 2-3 hours after that. When he DOES wake up and it's dark, he will eat, let me change his diaper, and he goes right back to sleep. He is an absolutely perfect baby. Landon is IN LOVE with his little brother and LOVES to help me with him whenever he can. It is so amazing to see them together... soooo sweet! Caius is also a VERY smiley baby! I had NO IDEA newborns could smile and mean to do it so early in life! Landon started intentionally smiling around a month old, and that's the norm for most babies. But Caius just smiles and smiles and smiles and tries to coo at you when you talk to him... it's the sweetest thing ever!

I am so glad I had such a short labor, a picture perfect vaginal delivery, and a healthy, happy, beautiful baby to show for it all =) I know not everybody gets the kind of delivery they hope for, and not everybody gets to have a baby... I thank God every day for the blessings he's given me and I couldn't ask for more in life <3

He's here!!!

I will do a full-on birth story another day, but I just wanted to take a minute to update this blog and say that HE'S HERE!!!

Induction was Friday the 5th at 6am and all went as planned. Caius Jarett Thurmer was born at 1:36pm October 5th, 2012 weighing 8lbs 14oz and 21.5" long! BIG BOY!

We are home (today was our first FULL day at home, last night was our first night at home!) and we are doing so well. He has been nothing but a complete delight and has fit into our lives so easily. He's a carefree baby so far and breastfeeds like a champ! =) Landon has been a complete angel with Caius and has shown absolutely NO jealousy. He kisses Caius, tells him he loves him, tickles him, hugs him, LOVES holding him.... they are the most precious site to see together. My heart bubbles over with pride and gushes love when I see them together. Landon couldn't be more proud to be a big brother!

I have had my milk come in in the last 24 hours and have been able to exclusively breastfeed Caius AND I am building a nice little stash in our freezer for when I go back to work. Sadly, today we had to introduce the bottle to Caius. He did well with it, but it killed me to give him the bottle over breast. I will be away for a few hours tomorrow while Alex is home with both boys and will need to be able to feed Caius.... luckily, it will only be a couple hours for this one day, and then no more again until I go back to work. Hopefully having the bottle these few hours will not mess up the great breastfeeding experience we are having.... I never got this experience with Landon and I am adoring it with Caius.

He is so precious and perfect... I am so thankful he is here finally! We waited years for him and it's hard to believe that after all this time he is finally here for good. It's a wonderful, fulfilling feeling. Thank you Lord for blessing me with these amazing boys <3

Final thoughts

So, it is the night before my induction.. getting induced in 9 hours. I will be getting up and getting ready in 7 hours. It has ALL boiled down to tomorrow.... I can't believe it!

I feel like I'm in complete denial. I know it's typical to have stresses and concerns and anxiousness and butterflies in your stomach.... I know my labor will only last until he's born and it will all be worth it and pretty soon these days will all just be a "thing of the past"... but I am having a hard time convincing myself that by this time tomorrow, Caius will MORE than likely be with us. It's crazy to say out loud...

Landon is at Alex's mom's house for the night (possibly two nights... not sure entirely how that's all going to go down..) and he is thrilled to be seeing his brother next time he sees Alex and I.

I spent the whole day with Landon and enjoyed every little minute I possibly could! It's bittersweet to think that I will never have this kind of undivided attention to give him again. That is quite possibly the most emotional part of this whole ordeal for me... he will be a great big brother and I know he will adjust to Caius being around and sharing his attention, but I can't help but feel a sense of guilt. He's been the one-and-only "baby" for the last almost-five years, and tomorrow that will all be ripped away from him. It's a whole new chapter in life for all of us, but I still feel slightly "off" about it....

I know I will miss being pregnant shortly after having Caius for many reasons, but that is another emotion I am battling with right now. I am SO uncomfortable and SO ready to have my body back! I will never be this close with Caius again though. He will be his own independent little guy from here on out and he will grow and blossom like Landon has and continues to do so. Again, it's all so bittersweet....

I'm excited and anxious to get tomorrow's show on the road, but at the same time, it now feels like time is doing nothing but playing in fast-forward. I want to enjoy these last few hours of being pregnant and being so connected with Caius, and they feel like they are being ripped away from me. Today has been a blur of running around and completing some final errands before tomorrow, but I am so thankful I took the time to be with Landon and have as much one-on-one time as I could squeeze out of the day.

This whole post is a random rambling mess, but I really don't care at this point. I'm emotional in so many ways and have no idea how to express them except through tears at the moment: tears of joy, tears of fear, tears of anxiety and guilt, tears of excitement.... I am a big ball of absurd amounts of emotion! I just wanted to take an extra few minutes before I head off to bed to jot down all of these things so I can reflect on them somewhere down the road... sentimental value plays such an important role in my life <3

So my next blog entry will be pictures of Caius and updates on how everything went down! I pray God gives me the strength and stamina to make it through tomorrow's labor and delivery of my second, LONG-awaited precious little miracle.

Good news!

Just got back home from my appointment... and it was my last!!

My doctor took pity on me (he seemed VERY happy to comply!!) and agreed to induce me come 6am this Friday! Chances are that Caius will be born October 5! While I tried to convince the doctor I am ready TODAY or TOMORROW for induction, he insisted that we have one last FULL day as a family of 3 before baby #2 joins us.

I am so excited and anxious to FINALLY get to meet our new precious little boy! I can't wait! I was disappointed on the way home because I really wanted to meet him today or tomorrow, but the more I think about it, the more I am thankful to have one final day with Landon to myself. We will make every minute count tomorrow and have a great last day. Alex will still have to work tomorrow, but at least he will be home until next Wednesday after that =)

I am very excited to FINALLY have Caius come and all four of us be together <3

Still Pregnant...

Yup, still here and still pregnant. It's October 3, and I am 4 days overdue now. Whatever "weirdness" I was feeling a few days ago obviously turned out to be nothing.

I don't think this boy is coming on his own. I can't take it anymore for many reasons. The next person to tell me to "relax" or "your time will come" or "you won't be pregnant forever... he will be here soon enough" I will PUNCH IN THE FACE. I am SICK of hearing it. I understand you went 41 or 42+ weeks before your kids were born and blah blah blah.... I guarantee you felt THE SAME WAY I am feeling at this point and didn't want to hear anybody else tell you the above crap. It's annoying and it just irritates the piss out of me.

In any case, I have an appointment at 1:30 today.... I have read that most doctors (once you are past 40 weeks) will offer to induce you if A) you have any kind of dilation/ripening of your cervix and B) the hospital isn't full of other women in labor. I've been 2.5cm dilated and 50% effaced for 2 weeks now... I MIGHT be more so this time around, although I am not betting on it. So hopefully my doctor offers to induce... if not, I will LITERALLY get on my knees in tears and BEG him to do so. Caius has seemingly been in my birth canal for a good 4 days straight now (longest he's ever stayed there... not like he has much else of a place to go!) and it gets so painful to walk and move at times that I have been staying in bed and/or sitting down most of my days now.

I keep telling myself there's no way my doctor would NOT offer to induce me at this point, but I woke up this morning and starting thinking, "What IF he decides NOT to offer?"

Or worse, if he denies my request to be induced.

If I get denied, I am certain I will be in tears for a few days.... I love Caius and am excited for him to get here and everything I have been through thus far has been worth it to get him here, BUT I am huge, exhausted, grumpy and just DONE with being pregnant. I cannot stress that enough.. I. AM. DONE.

Is this it finally???

So, it's October 1st, and we will officially have an October baby now. I'm over that fact at this point; I just want him here!

Yesterday afternoon around 4:30 I started having mild contractions off and on, but it was the first time I have had them while it feels like his head was engaged. After several hours (I stayed up until about 11pm) the contractions didn't disappear. However, they hadn't gotten any closer together either. I decided I would just sleep and see what the next day brought. I had just assumed my body would do what it has done every other time: reset itself and I would feel great by morning.

Luckily, I have been wrong so far!

I woke up at LEAST 3 times I can remember to painful contractions... again, nothing regular, but they were quite painful and I couldn't sleep until they were over. Fast forward to 5am, I woke up again but this time to go to the bathroom. When I was finished, I laid in bed wide awake. My contractions were still going. About 5:30am rolled around and Alex's alarm for work didn't go off, so I ended up waking him up myself (very lucky that I was up at that time to get him up!) so I got up with him and spent a little bit of time with him.

I ended up being awake with a couple contractions until about 7:30ish. I fell back asleep and Landon woke me up an hour later. I've been up for an hour now, and since I got up at 5, things have just felt "different" in my body... it's hard to describe. It's almost like the achy muscle feeling you get when you have extreme menstrual cramps (sometimes it affects how your legs feel... and that's what is I am feeling currently) plus I am STILL having contractions. They are more intense than they were yesterday, but I don't think they are any closer together.

I have no idea if this is FINALLY baby day or what, but I am REAAAAAALLY hoping it is! All I can do it go about my day, wait and find out....

To be continued!

D-Day!

Today is Caius' due date!

And I feel like I do any other day... tired, beaten and bruised, heavy, crabby, and ready to have him here.

I sincerely doubt today is the day he will come. I've had people remind me that tonight is a full moon and that he will likely be born today... I doubt it. Unless things start to pick up and progress within the next few hours (which they very well could..) I don't think today is going to be the day Caius joins us.

Doctor appointment on Thursday afternoon was a bit of a let-down... no progress from the previous week. Still 2.5cm dilated and 50% effaced. He didn't offer to do a membrane sweep or anything either... sad :(

Oh well. I guess he wants to be an October baby... Alex, Landon and I are going to the Nascar Speed Park today so they can do go kart racing, bumper boats, laser tag, rock wall climbing, video games, etc and I will watch from the sidelines... BUT the good news is the amount of walking and stair climbing I will be doing should either A) help encourage Caius out or B) convince me that nothing will force him out except medical intervention....

40 weeks and counting.... you have officially worn out your welcome Caius! Please vacate the premises!

Manic grumbling and sighing...

Still here, still pregnant... and miserable. Miserable because my body cannot handle this much longer (and yes, I know it won't have to... ALL babies are born EVENTUALLY), and miserable because I just want Caius here already. I'm tired of waiting, & I know Alex and Landon are both extremely anxious. It's very difficult to explain to a four year old who has little grasp on the aspect of time that his brother has no specific set "date" for when he's coming, it's just whenever he feels like it... that explanation does not compute in his ever-expanding head full of knowledge.

I also enjoy getting texts and calls from friends/family asking how I am doing every day, but I always feel so guilty to not have any kind of exciting news to share with them... I know it's not true, but it just feels like I let EVERYBODY down on a daily basis when he's not here =( I still have hope that he will be a few days early, but I think I'm done guessing an actual date.

By the time bedtime rolls around every night, I have steady contractions and pains and part of my mucus plug comes out every night.... and I go to bed thinking "I need to sleep if this is early labor, and maybe I will be woken up in full-blown labor in the middle of the night." .................Nope. My body pretty much resets itself when I'm sleeping. I wake up feeling fine. Every day I feel a little bit different than the days before which always makes me think, "Maybe today will be the day." Nope. I'm just crazy I think.

On a daily basis, I feel like a walking time bomb. Everybody is on edge around me and ready to jump when the time comes, which is great to know we are surrounded by so many helpful and willing people. But unfortunately, unless my water breaks or I have a giant amount of bloody mucus plug come out (gross, I know) there's really no reason people should think I am going to immediately go into intense active labor right away, lol. There are days where I believe my water WILL break actually.... I feel like an overly-filled water balloon and when I walk during this time, I expect to feel a "pop" and get soaking wet. Don't get me wrong: it leaks at least once a day, but nothing noteworthy.

Aside from all of the "fun" uncertainty of every day, I am very happy to announce that I am officially done with work until November! That, above all things, has made me SOOOOO happy and relaxed. The stresses of work and being a whale were really NOT a good combination to have in my life. We were able to figure out a way to afford me being on leave longer, so I decided to take the opportunity and take advantage of it. Time is all mine now (mind and Landon's, rather...) until Caius gets here. It's such a nice feeling....

Exciting week!

Tomorrow is 39 weeks! Wednesday the 19th, I had my Doctor appointment and he FINALLY checked me! I was expecting some kind of progress towards labor (as I had several PAINFUL and intense contractions off and on the week before) and was surprised when he told me I was at 2.5, almost 3 centimeters dilated and a little over 50% effaced!! I was taken aback... that was greater news than I had thought! With Landon, I was not effaced at ALL and never dilated naturally beyond 1cm and had absolutely no certain contractions or signs of impending labor (except that I was as big as a whale!)

Of course, now that I know where I'm at, I am hoping any day now will be his birthday! With my luck, he will still be an October baby... lol!! Alex has been SO adorable every morning, hoping just as much as I am that any given day will be Caius' birthday... his family and my family alike are texting me left and right asking if anything exciting is happening.... it's almost surreal to think I could be hours away from having him here with us!

Yesterday was my mother-in-law's birthday (the 20th), and we were all hoping that he would come then. Obviously, he did not... but it would have been special since Landon shares his birthday with my mom, so we figured Caius sharing his birthday with Alex's mom would be pretty cool too! Oh well... =(

*Caution: TMI Alert!!* Last night, I actually lost part of my mucus plug and it had blood in it!! It's the most amount of blood I've seen since December of last year when I had my last period, LOL!! Most people go into labor a few hours, days or a week after losing their mucus plug... I don't think I lost enough to be anticipating that, but it was still quite exhilarating for me to have some more proof of impending labor!!

My biggest wish for this pregnancy (other than having a healthy baby, healthy pregnancy, and not gaining a whole lot) was that I would go into labor naturally and before October. I have such high hopes that this will still happen! Even if I am late and go into October (which I really don't want to do, but he will come when he's ready), I am still so excited and hopeful that labor will happen on it's own and I will not have to be induced. I really don't feel like I have more than a few days left (if that) but you never know... it could be wishful thinking!

Tomorrow is my final day of work and I couldn't be happier about it. I was so determined to stay at work until 40 weeks or until he came, but was given the opportunity to go a little bit earlier. I took the opportunity and am SO thankful I decided to do so! I can hardly wait to be home for around 7-8 weeks =)

Full term

As of Saturday, I am *officially* full term and Caius is free and clear to come whenever he would like. SO EXCITING!! So, obviously me being the overly-anxious person I am, I am analyzing and praying every false contraction I have will eventually turn into true labor. I do my best to not think about it (after all, it will happen when it's meant to happen, and NOTHING I do will change that fact) but it's so hard.

I decided yesterday I was OFFICIALLY DONE being pregnant with this little guy. I'm over it... I don't want to sound ungrateful, because I know how much others struggle to be in the position I am in, but I want to be honest on my own blog. I'm sure in a few years I will miss his kicks and how easy it was when it was just Landon we had to worry about and Caius was safe in my belly... but in the meantime, I'm anxious to meet him and have our family of four together, I'm anxious to start my maternity leave and be home with my boys and have my mom come visit at the end of my leave, and I'm SO ready to have my body back (breathing normal, sleeping however I want to, be able to keep up with Landon and the housework)..... I just want him here.

Nothing too terribly exciting to report. Most things are the same, but there are a few differences... still mild nausea every few weeks, mild heartburn on occasion (once every few days), and my eating changes daily. Some days I am insatiable, and other days I have to remember to eat a few snacks here and there. A *new* symptom I've acquired over the last 3 days is swollen feet... not just swollen, but PAINFUL as well. It's completely tolerable but still stinks to have one more "inconvenience"... I am VERY thankful though since this pregnancy could be going a hell of a lot worse than what it has been. My weight gain is pretty steady. I had an appointment yesterday morning and had gained 3lbs in one week (average) but the doctor was happy because I haven't gained anything for 4 weeks prior. My total weight gain thus far is 20lbs. I am quite happy with that number!

I really wanted my doctor to check me at my appointment yesterday. A few days prior, I had had some pretty intense and seemingly regular contractions so I was hoping he could tell me if they had done anything for my progression. He didn't want to "disappoint" me but promised he would check next week at my appointment. I have hope that he will have *some* kind of news to tell me next week, but I'm also preparing myself to hear him tell me that there's no progress. I know it doesn't mean anything when it comes to babies, because ANYTHING can happen at any time when it comes to true labor, which can occur at any time and of it's own accord. Sixteen days until his due date!!!

Come on out Caius!! It's time to meet your family and be here with us forever. I can't wait to kiss and love your beautiful little face!

35 weeks, 4 days

Getting sooooooooooo stinking close! I'm very excited and torn up about it. I will miss being pregnant, but at the same time I am dying to have my body back and to meet this new little person that's been poking and beating me from the inside =)

I am tired of always being tired, of not being able to breathe normally, of all the discomfort during the night, of my absurd mood swings (which they haven't been THAT bad, but there have been a few times that I even surprised myself...)........... I'm just tired. My body feels like it's going to just fall apart at times, this morning especially.

I am home with just Landon and I today and I am actually nervous about it to be honest. I'm not sure how I'm going to stay awake the WHOLE day with him, let alone wear him out enough for bed tonight. I have a doctor appointment in about 1.5 hours and then we are taking Alex a lunch since he forgot his this morning. Other than that, I am not sure what to do today. I've had quite the urge to clean again, but pretty much EVERYTHING IS clean already. There's a couple things that I'm going back over that I've already done though.

I don't know though... I'm so scatter-brained and have absolutely no energy to face the day. I am so thankful for my days off of work every week, but I know my responsibilities revolve around getting things cleaned and keeping up with the house and aside from small bursts of energy and nesting sessions, I could care less if my "chores" get done, lol. Alex has been great about helping out and doing what he can with whatever energy he has to spare at the end of the his work days and his days off, but between the two of us we are quite a pathetic pair at the moment. Still, I am SO thankful for his help and understanding.... I love him so much! <3

Here is a side-by-side I made with the first picture I took this pregnancy and my most recent one from last week. It's crazy to see the 30 week difference like this. Obviously you know when you are pregnant you will grow, but I think actually SEEING the difference is pretty interesting! (Except for the fact that my butt has just quadrupled in size... it gained sympathy weight to counter-balance my big-ole belly I suppose, LOL!) I will attempt to remember to make another one of these with my final pregnancy picture that I take before Caius comes. I will probably put the 4 week, then my 20 week, and then my 40 week (if I make it that far) side-by-side. =)

5 weeks out, and one major pregnancy difference

Other than the few I have already listed in previous posts (not getting stretch marks until 36+ weeks, being sick all the time with Landon and not so much with Caius, heartburn with Caius, hip pain with Caius, etc etc) there is one major difference that I just thought of this morning...

 My belly hasn't gone numb! At least not yet. I distinctly remember with Landon my belly had gotten so big and stretched out that from my belly button to just below my boobs went numb to the touch and was constantly itchy (which I couldn't help by scratching since I had no feeling in that area, lol!) This time around it's still itchy, but I have yet to have my belly go numb. Maybe it will happen later, but I only have five weeks left and I am 99% sure my belly was numb already with Landon.

 Maybe its because I have extra "fluff" this time, or maybe it could be that Caius and Landon sit differently in the womb.... I'm not sure. Maybe it will happen, maybe it won't. I really don't mind either way.

 Just thought I would share this small observation :)

Hanging out in baby limbo

Well, I shouldn't really call it "limbo". It's not... we will be having this little boy arrive between next month or early October. It will happen, it's just a matter of when.

The weeks just keep ticking by. Here I am at 34 weeks and 1 day, and while it doesn't sound that close in my head, when I say outloud that we have about 6 weeks left it feels like it's sooooooo close. One of the girls from our due date club had a false-alarm labor a few days ago. She was having steady, painful contractions and losing her mucus plug/having a bloody show for a good 36 hours and we all thought for sure she was going to have her baby. Unfortunately, all of the labor signs stopped and she's had aboslutely no "action" since then.

Recently, Caius has had some interesting movements. He will move all his appendages at once (or so it seems!) and it just makes breathing/moving incredibly painful and difficult. He has days where he is higher up in my abdomen and then days where he feels like he's "engaged" and getting ready to throw me into labor. He's always head down now, but on days where he is lower I can be walking around and feel like I have a 20lb bowling ball waiting to fall out my hoo-haa... or my FAVORITE: I will be walking around and get shooting pains up my lady parts and it makes it SOOOO difficult to walk. I usually end up having to sit down and relax for a good hour or so before they go away completely.

Heartburn has been more readily present in my system... but it's never anything more than what a simple regular strength Zantac will take care of. I have also been craving onion rings the last few days like a MAD MAN. I've only given in a few times and don't plan on doing so anymore since I promised myself I would watch what I ate, especially towards the end of this pregnancy when it's SOOOOOO easy to gain a whole mess of weight.

I still feel like this little guy will be coming early, but I've also started to let myself consider what we would do if he ends up coming a little later than anticipated... aka, in October. I've started making myself get more active on a daily basis and am increasing what I do every day so hopefully the extra stress of excercise and keeping busy will help labor commense in a decent amount of time.

I cannot wait to have ladies in my due date club start popping out babies. I am pretty sure I will be one of the final few to have their baby, so living vicariously/obsessively through them will definitely be a plus for me while I await to arrival of Caius. We have several ladies who are 37/38 weeks along now and are all having small signs of impending labor. One of them is bound to go soon!!! I cannot wait for us all to meet our little ones and be out of this miserable FINAL stage of pregnancy!

Yesterday was the first time I said it out loud. I've already known this in my head, but for some reason things just got REAL when the words escaped my lips....

I'm having another baby next month.

HOLY CRAP!!!

*almost* 32 week update

I just had my recent OB appointment yesterday morning, and we are scheduled to see the doctor every 2 weeks now! I think I see him every 2 weeks until I'm 36 or 38 weeks along and then I go every week until Caius comes, if he doesn't come before then.

Some good news to come out of my appointment: I passed my glucose test!! No gestational diabetes which is absolutely great! I thought for sure I would be failing it and then have to take the 3-hour glucose test (which I could have still failed)... My blood pressure is still completely under control, and Caius' head is down where it should be =) I thought he was head down because I have been getting a LOT of kicks and jabs in my ribs which felt like feet, lol! The best news of all (for me, at least) is that his absurd growing has slowed down significantly (still in the normal/healthy range of course) and the doctor predicted we will be having a nice 8lb baby again as opposed to a 10lb chunker. I was SO relieved to hear this... at least I know I can deliver an 8lb baby... LOL!

Little monster has been rolling and moving constantly... some of it pretty cool to feel, and some of it relatively painful. He has some sharp elbows and feet when he gets into his jabbing fits, that's for sure! I'm glad he's so strong and healthy =) He hiccups a lot now too, meaning he is practicing his breathing and getting ready for his grand entrance into the world. I have also been having some seriously annoying braxton-hicks contractions recently. On average, they are pretty mild and only happen a few times a day, if that. But then there are some days where they almost feel like normal, regular contractions. Quite uncomfortable and obnoxious.

I still believe this little charmer will be coming at least a week early, if not earlier. Just a feeling I have...

I packed my hospital bag tonight for both myself and Caius. I'm still missing a few things, but they will end up being last-minute things that will need to be grabbed when the time comes. One less thing to worry about in the meantime...

We finally rearranged our bedroom like I had been wanting to do... and our bed is now positioned so it is by the A/C vent in the floor and I have a fan blowing directly behind it onto our bed... it is HEAVENLY to say the least! I haven't been hot ONCE at nighttime (which was a common problem) since we moved the bed.. I don't know why we kept putting off getting things accomplished for so long, lol!

I still have incredibly pained hip problems, occasional heartburn now too.... Alex and I started doing yoga after Landon goes to bed and it is INCREDIBLY difficult to do with a giant belly... and to think it's only going to get bigger!!

I can't wait to meet our little miracle =) It won't be too much longer now!

My baby shower AND stuff we have!

So July 14th my friends threw me a baby shower (like I have mentioned a couple times), and while they were hoping to keep the shower a secret, my friend Jessica (who is one of the girls throwing it) spilled the beans to me in early June. However, they DID keep a HUGE secret from me... my Mom ended up flying in and surprising me with a couple day visit and was able to attend my baby shower =D It was absolutely amazing! I was thrilled now only to have her there, but just the fact that NOBODY I KNEW told me she was coming absolutely blew my mind! (Everybody at the store knew and they are notorious for giving away secrets, and even Landon knew but never said a word! Amazing!)

As far as what we received from the shower, it was WAY more than I ever expected! I have so many giving and thoughtful friends and people in my life. My mom bought us the swing we were hoping for, about 6 people from work went in together and got us a TON of Amazon giftcards... my friend Katie got us another Amazon giftcard, my friend Kim got us several necessary supplies, and my friend Heather got us the Aveeno hygiene supplies we had been wanting. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law got Caius some adorable outfits as well! (This child will be quite stylin', rofl!) We were able to order all kinds of supplies we wanted from Amazon. Also, we had a "virtual baby shower" between the girls and I on our pregnancy forum and I received a "kick piano" thing that you hang on the crib siding for them to kick and make music and it is absolutely adorable!

We have a ton of clothes, the closet is all set up, and we received our final shipment of cloth diapers in the mail! I'm so excited to have everything together and ready, even though I'm about 9 weeks away from delivery... I have this strong feeling we will be having Caius a week or two in advance so I wanted to make sure everything got accomplished before I ran out of energy completely. We have all the bottles and second step-up nipples we need, we have another package of cloth diaper detergent, we have a ton of formula in case breastfeeding doesn't work out and my supply sucks (again...), and I couldn't possibly think of anything else we need to accomplish before he gets here (with the exception of MAYBE rearranging our bedroom.)

After plenty of debating and mild arguments with Alex (lol) we decided to go ahead and keep the baby bedding we have. I've rearranged all of Caius' clothes a million times. We were also discussing a take-home outfit for him from the hospital. We were thinking of of these pictured monster outfits would probably be the winner...








I'm so excited to meet my newest little man!!

The final countdown!!

Less than 10 weeks (assuming Caius comes in time or before his due date!) Its absolutely crazy... I feel like I have been pregnant forever, but the realization that he will be here in TWO MORE MONTHS just blows me away.. we have everything we need for him. We are set up and ready for him to come. I feel like I should still be shopping for him in some way or another, but we honestly have all we are going to need for the first few months.

 I had a baby shower Saturday the 14th and was surprised by my Mom showing up! She flew in for 3 days to attend the shower and help us get anything else we may need for Caius. I got a ton of amazon giftcards (which I used to purchase nitty-gritty things, like breastfeeding supplies, more hygiene products, more diaper detergent and our wet bags for the diapers). We also received a swing from my mom (yaaay!! Its sooo cute!!) and we got some supplies from other friends who were very thoughtful :)

 I am so anxious for him to be here... I didnt want to wish away the rest of this pregnancy (despite the discomforts and limitations, I thoroughly enjoy being pregnant this time around!) but I am ready to meet Caius, look for a new job, and take back control of my body. Im such an anxiius person when I have nothing left to busy myself with!


10 weeks and counting!!

September babies already and my anxiety is building...

Like I've stated before, I am a part of a forum on twoweekwait.com on the pregnancy side of things.... recently the girls and I had been wondering out loud who would be the first of us to go into labor or have to deliver and when, as we are all into the third trimester now. The August Due Date Club had their first arrival (twins!!) last month so we were all starting to wonder... and yesterday, we got our answer!

One of the girls who was due September 1 was just above 32 weeks with twins and had her babies yesterday! They had to take her early because she had pre-eclampsia and was having trouble breathing, only to find out she had fluids in her lungs and they thought it best for mom and twinsies if they were born. No updates on how everything went yet (not that I expect to hear anything for a while!) but I sure hope/pray everything went as well as it could have for the 3 of them!

In any case, it is so surreal to know we have babies born in our DDC (due date club). We are 1/3 of the way through July and have babies born... It just makes things feel that much more real! Like I've stated before, we are pretty much ready for this little guy when he decides to come, (after 37 weeks I hope... but there's nothing wrong with my pregnancy so he should be fine making it to full term) but just the realization that it won't be but another 2 and a half months before he's here is........ overwhelming I suppose is a good word. You can do all the prepping for baby that you want, but the reality that we will have another addition to our family and another life to take care of and mold into a good person is weighing heavily on me recently.

I couldn't be more excited for Caius to join us, but I am starting to feel the anxiety of having a newborn again PLUS an older child to care for. Luckily Landon prides himself on his independence and is a very understanding/affectionate/helpful boy. I know he will help when he can with Caius and will understand if I can't give him my full attention like I used to. I am just so scared that he will feel left out and forgotten the first few weeks Caius is home while I'm finding a routine for us, and I would hate to be the one responsible for him feeling that way. It's only temporary and we will live through it, but it hurts my heart to think that he might feel that way =( Hopefully I can do my best to involve him in most things I will be doing with Caius!

Also, Alex will not have any real vacation time for when Caius does come... chances are he will be at the hospital for the delivery, but the days following in the hospital I am assuming he will be working. The day we come home he will be there to take us home, and MAYBE have the first day we are all home off of work. That is pretty much it though. It will just be Landon, Caius and myself except on weekends when he's born. I know I can do it and I know there are people I can call to help if I need it, but while I feel nervous about how things will or won't play out for us, I am also determined to make it all work by myself. I am hoping Caius is a good sleeper the first few weeks and I also pray that breastfeeding isn't as much of an issue this time around as it was with Landon. Since I will be in my own home and just my boys I have it in my head that concentrating on BFing will be much easier than it was with Landon and living in a house full of people excited to see/spend time with a new baby.

I know these thoughts/anxieties/fears are all the same with every parent as they expand from one child to two (or more!) and I know things will be fine once he gets here and I am no longer thinking about it but ACTUALLY doing it all.... but I can't help but be an average person and worry over the thoughts in the meantime. It's all part of the process I guess! =) Regardless, I am so thankful and blessed to be having another little miracle from God that we can love and nurture. There are people struggling every day to get pregnant and have just one child and may never get their miracle baby.... it is such a gift from God to know Alex and I are healthy counterparts who are able to not only have kids, but healthy, strong, spirited kids who learn and grow everyday and are loved tremendously.

Less than 12 weeks now!! I can't wait to meet my little angel =)

Instincts kickin' in!

Well, they aren't just NOW kicking in.. they have been present since about 16 weeks along and I have had to suppress them until recently when my brother Ben moved out of our house. We finally have room the other half of Landon's room back and were able to set up the crib, organize Caius' closet, and rearrange all kinds of stuff in the house =) I thought once I got the basic baby "to do" list out of the way I would feel better and the nesting would relax a bit.

It hasn't.

Every inch of my house is disgusting to me. I feel like I need to scrub every wall, vacuum every unseen corner of the house, dust anything that has any sort of surface, and what's more: I feel like I need to rearrange Caius' stuff already. AHHHH!!

I do feel a LITTLE bit accomplished though because I purchased some more clothes for him for the first month or two (after going through all of the clothes we had left over from Landon, I discovered we REALLY had NOTHING for 0-6months), and I ordered 16 more diapers and some spare inserts (I have been having mild panic attacks lately that the diapers we have will not be sufficient.. and the inserts are bamboo inserts and are supposed to be SUPER absorbent), and I also ordered 3 SMALL size diaper covers for our prefold diapers so we can use those on Caius early on. I had ordered a few other covers that were one size, but I just couldn't see them fitting him appropriately for the first month or two and decided to splurge and get a couple fitted size covers. We did a small Costco trip a few days ago and picked up a GIANT box of wipes (900 to be exact) and we now have plenty of those for a while.

I am VERY certain we are going to be just fine in the disposable diaper department after Caius gets here. I have 2 packages of size 1 diapers (Landon literally had 2 small packs of newborn size diapers that the hospital gave us, and we never used them all before he was in size 1.... he could have just started in size 1 realistically but why waste free diapers?) and I am certain we will not need more than that before his circumcision heals/umbilical cord falls off. I have a package of size 2 diapers that are unopened, and I think I am going to go ahead and sell those instead of keeping them.

I have a week and 2 days until my baby shower at Jessica's house and I am so excited for it!! I am so thankful to have such a wonderful family and group of friends who are all so helpful, generous, thoughtful and caring. I am truly blessed in my life!

Pressure: physical and feeling under

Holy moly.... the amount of pressure that this little boy can put on my hips and pelvis is incredible.  Luckily he doesn't sit that way very often anymore, but today he has been mercilessly cuddling up on my pelvis and it is just KILLING me. I believe he is somewhere between 2-3lbs officially now. He's been a "pelvis cuddle-r" since around the time I started feeling him moving in the beginning of the second trimester.... I thought back then that he was heavy when he laid in that general area... I was wrong. It's MUCH worse now. I can only pray that the bigger he gets, the more he will stay upwards in the uterus and NOT lay in my pelvis very often. It feels like a bowling ball hanging out inside of me =P So uncomfortable and occasionally painful.

I also started having braxton hicks today. I had one earlier this morning and drank a ton of water all day long (which I had to anyway seeing as it's been outrageously hot!!) The cramping and contractions stopped for a while and I felt increasingly better. Then around 1-2pm today is when Caius decided he needed to lay on my pelvis and I was so uncomfortable for a while. I took a nap and that helped relieve some pressure while I was laying down. On my way to work I had another braxton hicks contraction. I drank a ton more water and it went away again. Sadly, I just got home not too long ago and I had yet another one. I am beginning to wonder if him laying awkwardly/so low triggers these false contractions to occur... probably not, but just a thought.

I have been thinking a lot lately about how close I am getting to my due date. July is sneaking up on me and then I have August to get through. I honestly think I will be having this little boy a few days, if not a week or two earlier than anticipated. It's a feeling that I can't shake... as long as he makes it to 37 weeks, I am fine with him coming when he is ready after that. However, the realization that he could be coming BEFORE the bitter end of September makes me start to feel frantic about getting stuff done. AHHHH!!!

Next week is the magical week I can start SERIOUSLY preparing our house for his arrival. I don't think it's going to be too much work, but with how tired I get so easily it might take me longer than I'd like. Whether it takes a week to finish the ideas I have in my head or until Caius comes out, I could care less... I am just thrilled to be able to FINALLY start getting everything ready for him! I'm sure once I get things the way I see them in my head currently I will feel satisfied for a while... and I also think I will reorganize and rearrange stuff continuously until he comes just to occupy myself =)

I can't wait to meet this newest addition growing inside of me =) I can already tell he is going to enrich our lives further and bring some wonderful changes to our family =)