End of 2011... and my resolution

I have mixed emotions.... its been quite a trying year.

I wont lie: I thought for sure I would be pregnant by now... I knew full well it would take a few months; I assumed it would happen without thought just like with Landon. But it hasnt.... its going on six months now and Im really starting to feel the sting of defeat.

At the same time I know whenever we do get our positive, it will all be worth the wait and heartbreak. It will make us appreciate all those special moments of pregnancy. I will revel in the thrill of getting our positive test and the doctor visits.... all the pains, nausea, nights spent tossing and turning, feeling everything from the first few flutters to full blown kicking and rolling and hiccups... yeah, all of it will be savored and welcomed.

I also realize that God isnt trying to torment us... Hes just picking out the perfect angel to send down to us. I know He is taking His time matching our second angel to us. It will all happen in His time.... but man, am I anxious and impatient.

My resolution for 2012 is to work on being a more patient, less anxious me. A toast to the new year!!