Five dpo (days past ovulation)

Five days down, 9 to go until my prejected period starts. Usually, its recommended to test the day your period is due ( the hormone pregnancy tests pick up on is typically at a high enough rate that there is no question of whether or not you are preggo, and to save money on pee sticks.) However, some of the more sensitive sticks can detect the HCG hormone sooner than others.

That being said, I was planning on waiting until 10dpo(four days before my period) to start testing and pray I see something. Its not completely unheard of to start testing at 7-9dpo either. It is just severly unlikely you will get a positive. Why waste the money, right?

Anyway, I decided to wait until 10dpo... So really, I am halfway to my potential BFP!! Heres hoping... To be honest, I am not too hopeful for this month but I pray I will be surprised.

Soooo.... 5dpo "symptoms".... Really not much to talk about. I had very brief, very mild cramping at 3dpo, and again yesterday. I was exhausted all yesterday. Today I really dont feel anything out of the norm for me. I never felt any symptoms with Landon until around 8-9 weeks. So maybe me not feeling anything is a good thing! I have no idea when I ovulated or when my period was actually due with my son, but I know I was late and noticed slight cramping and extreme fatigue once or twice.

I really should stop over-analyzing and just relax. Stressing wont help anything. I am trying my best to just ignore everything to do with trying to conceive and instead become engrossed in packing/planning my trip back home to visit friends and family.

....Sunday morning cannot possibly get here soon enough =( *siiiiigh*....

A funny, awkward moment today....

My DH was at the store when I got home from work today, and my MIL had Landon at her house. I told her to walk Landon home whenever he was done visiting and wanted to come home.

About 20 minutes of peace at home, and then I hear my door open and Landon shouting up the stairs at me "Mommy!! I is HOOOOOOME!!"

So I come down the stairs to say hi to MIL and welcome Landon home... and she looks at me and says, "I know your secret."

...Do you now? I was completely confused... I didn't know I had a secret, LOL!

Turns out Landon told her all about how mommy has a baby belly, and it's a baby brother belly.... WHAAAAT?? I laughed and felt embarrassed because nobody is supposed to know we are trying. I was able to tell her (without lying) that I do NOT have a "baby belly", let alone a "baby brother belly".

I don't think she believes me =P

It did make me realize that I will have to be careful and figure out when I will tell family and friends... it wont be as easy as I thought. I have a little monkey man trying to spoil surprises >=) Hahahaha, how I love that little boy...

The big "O"!!!

No, I am not meaning "O" as in "orgasm"... bahahahahaha. I am meaning ovulation!!! It's finally here!! Got almost-positive tests all yesterday, and this morning it was super faint so I thought for sure my almost-positives were positives... I took a test with me to work just to be sure my LH surge had come and gone... low and behold it turned out to be a BLAZING positive test!! I am ovulating today!! I took another test around 6pm tonight when I got home from work and it is not as intense at my afternoon OPT, but it's definitely still positive!!

This marks my journey into the TWW (two week wait!!). I will be visiting family and friends Sept 4-12, so more than likely I will be POAS (peeing on a stick) several times while I am there, praying for my BFP(big fat positive)!

Praying we got this lil eggie this month!! I know it's likely doubtful we did... it usually takes several cycles. I calculated my ovulation time for last month and we POTENTIALLY could have been pregnant last month.. but obviously that didnt work out.
This is our second cycle and even though the chances of conceiving any month are around 20%, my hopes are high. Honestly, in my heart, I just *know* this is probably not our month... but only time will tell!

From top to bottom: (Monday's Test, Tuesday's Test, Wednesday's Test)

Top to bottom: (Preggo test because I have never done one like this and I was curious, Tuesday's test, Wednesday Morning test and wednesday Night test)

Finally, today's BLAZING BFP!! Same test, two different distances from the camera.. lol. I'm obsessed! So sorry!!

It's absolutely beautiful and heartwarming to me to see those wonderful two lines burning brightly... gives me a small peace of mind. My heart is full of happiness and I am absolutely content. I felt like I was never going to get my positive ovulation tests, and here I am; able to pee on any one of my tests and get a beautiful positive result. Thank you God for this wonderful day =)

let the madness begin!

Today marks the first day of my ovulation pee stick madness!! Im very excited to be taking at least one OPT every day until it finally turns positive!

Then, sadly, I will be in a two week wait again... But at least I can start those a few days earlier if I want to subject myself to the torture *laughter ensuing*....

I learned that talking to the few friends I confide in and blogging a out this stuff is not doing what I had hoped it would... I have gotten less than enthusiastic responses from friends that I have told (some because its boring to them, and some have mixed feelings due to their own desire to have a baby... Which I completely understand and would never hold it against them.) As far as blogging goes, its like Im talking to myself.... Which doesnt help like I had hoped. Eventually I will get people to read my blog and get feedback... But for now, its not working. So, I went looking for alternatives to the above... And joined a TTC forum called twoweekwait.com ... Its wonderful!! Honest, caring people with a ton of knowledge on almost every aspect of baby making... Its helped time go faster obsessing over other peoples TTC monthly journeys, and sharing my own... Its wonderful. It makes me feel like im not crazy for obsessing and dreaming and wishing...

Anyway, Im done for today. I will blog when I finally get my positive ovulation test!!

waiting, waiting, playing the waaaaaiting game

This has been such a long few weeks! The more I learn about cycles, problems, and everything else to do with TTC... It makes me wish I could UNlearn all this crud. I got knocked up so easily before without meaning to, WHILE ON BIRTH CONTROL. I am trying not to think bout it all and relax, but its really hard to not obsess.... REALLY HARD.

Ive sporatically taken 3 of my ovulation tests simply to give me something to do. The 18th I will start testing with the OPKs every other day until my test line gets darker... Then I will take them every day until a few days after I get my positive test. Then starts another round of the wait game. At least after I confirm my ovulation occurs, I can start taking preggo tests 7-9 days after and track any potential positive. I doubt we will get lucky and conceive this month, but I am excited for when we do get our BFP!! I will have a nice bunch of pee sticks showing the progressive appearance of that beautiful second line!

I know to most people, I will seem crazy and obsessive... Which I am. Its crazy how once we decided on when we would put the effort into having a second baby, all my thoughts are revolving around it. Even peeing on sticks seems to be the most exciting part of my day, regardless of what the results tell me. Im crazy and sick in the head, yes, but can you really blame me for wanting to heighten our chances and putting my heart into it 100%?

This has been quite an extensive journey thus far, and its only begun! Even though im driving myself insane with anxiety, I am thoroughly enjoying the ride and wouldnt trade it for anything else... The destination will be well worth it!

Locked, loaded and ready to go!

Just wanted to show proof that I am ready for this cycle!!! LOL!

14 preggo tests! Containing 10 pee strips, 3 first response, and 1 clear blue digital =)

25 ovulation test strips!

My first ever ovulation test! I'm only on CD 5 which is way early, but I decided to try one out this afternoon! I couldn't help myself!

Maaaaaaaaaybe I'm being a little obsessive... LOL! I cannot wait to pee on all of these sticks! I feel like an animal BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I also purchased a binder today so I can keep a physical log of all the ovulation tests/preggo tests I take on what days and the result... etc.... I am very excited! Hopefully I don't have to fill up the binder though before we get our BFP (big fat positive)!!

Adieu!

Anxiety building up!

I cannot believe how incredibly anxious I am for my ovulation now! It's crazy to think I got pregnant the first time around just by being careless and because we were younger/ignorant. It just kind of crept up on me! Now that we are older, married, stable, and all the other fun words you wanna add... time is DRAGGING! I've always wanted kids. If there's nothing else in life I am sure of, I DO know that ever since I was a young child I have always wanted to get married to a wonderful person and be a mom. That thought process has never changed or even partially altered throughout my life.

Landon may frustrate me, anger me, test me, defy me, and make me wish I could slam my head into a brick wall, he is the most amazing human being I have ever had the privilege of having in my life. What's more, just knowing that I created him and he is half of me just makes it even better! He's perfect in every way even with his flaws. He's so intelligent, creative, thoughtful, loving, spunky, spontaneous, exciting and completely adorable. If we would be able to create another little boy (or girl!) even HALF as wonderful as Landon is, we will be the luckiest parents in the whole world! It's been almost 4 years now that he's been alive, and about 4.5 years since we found out about his existence... and I still think it's too good to be true at times. I look at him sometimes and think, "My God, I cannot believe he is mine. He is too perfect for words." I don't know what I did in my life to deserve such an incredible child, but I thank the Good Lord above every day for him.

He's been asking if I have a baby belly yet or not. He is so excited at the thought of becoming a big brother someday and having a little baby around the house... of course, he doesn't entirely understand that it won't be the kind of baby where we play with him/her for a few hours and send the baby home to someone else's house... lol!! He is so gentle and affectionate with our friends' babies and I believe he is going to be such an awesome big brother!

I am so anxious to start taking my ovulation pee sticks and get that positive result! Then I can start taking pregnancy tests a good 7 or 8 days past ovulation, and pray that over time I will see a second line, and see it get darker every day! I know I shouldn't get myself all wound up over it, especially since we might not get our BFP for months... or heck, even years! I don't know... only God knows =) But darn it if I'm not going to track my cycles and try my darnedest to help our chances any way I can!

A quick rant(TMI!! JUST A WARNING!) : I will never understand...

...why they have scented tampons! Really?? How absurd can you be??

It's not like it really DOES keep things any "fresher" when it's scented... if anything it pisses me off more because I'm already bloated, crampy, emotional, and bleeding.. the last thing I want is to think I'm smelling flowers right before plugging up.... WTH!

Lord knows nobody in their right mind would be sticking their heads "down under" while you are on your first few cycle days either! I cannot stick my head down to smell the roses myself... so really, WHY are some tampons scented??

....It's just ridiculous. Gives flowers and springtime smells a bad image really.

Dumb.



....Aaaaaaand end rant.

Holy 45 day cycle, batman!

As previously stated, my cycles aren't the average 28-days... Usually between 32-35 days in length. That being said, I have not gone a whole calendar month without aunt flo showing her ghastly face since I was about 13 years old (except when I was preggers with Landon, of course). So naturally, when July came and went without any visitation from every woman's least favorite relative, my mind began to wander...

Sunday the 31st, I took a blue dye test against my better judgment. It ended up with me not looking at it until hours later only to find a super faint positive. I was wigging out... literally going out of my mind. I started out excited, then depressed, then finally apprehensive. I calmed down and realized I shouldn't celebrate until I took a pink dye test... like a First Response one.

This is the picture I took of the blue dye test that turned out positive later, and the "tweak" I did of it to see if I could see the line better after...

I didn't drink much water that night, and woke up first thing the 1st and took a pink dye test. Negative. Big. Fat. Negative. I felt like my lungs collapsed on themselves. I was so disappointed, to say the least. It turned out that "positive" second line on my blue dye was a false evaporation line which commonly happens on blue dye tests AFTER the time frame you are supposed to look at them(about ten minutes after results show up)... which is why I didn't want to take it.

Aunt Flo came pounding and hollering at my door around 3am yesterday morning... and boy was she merciless. Worst period pain I've had since high school! TMI, I'm sure... but luckily Landon was understanding with me (for whatever reason!) and let me have enough time to have the pain subside before he started making his 3-year-old demands. Such a sweetheart..... LOL!

Anyway, now that Aunt Flo is here, I am extremely happy to have a definite yes or no in regards to being pregnant so quickly. I ordered about a bazillion ovulation test strips and they should be here either Monday or Tuesday next week. I cannot wait to start taking them!!!

Here's hoping cycle #2 is extra promising and we get the big fat positive we are hoping for!!