Friday, October 19, 2012

L&D story for Caius

Today, Caius is 2 weeks old! I cannot believe how quickly time has gone... and that it's taken me this long to write out his birth story! I am such a slacker... lol!

As everybody knows, I went in Wed the 3rd for my final prenatal appointment hoping and praying he would either A) induce me that day, B) offer to induce me, or C) listen to my pathetic cries to be induced and agree. To my dismay, he didn't want to induce me that day... but after a couple minutes of me complaining about not being able to keep up with Landon and being so uncomfortable it was becoming difficult to walk, etc, he asked me what I wanted to do. He had quite a giant beaming smile when I told him, "I want you to induce me... I am DONE being pregnant." So, our "appointment" for induction was set and we were to be at the labor and delivery ward of the hospital 6am Friday the 5th. This disappointment me a bit as well, as I was hoping to be taken after my appointment or the following morning (Thursday the 4th). His rational was, "Take one more full day to be a parent to one, as you will likely never have this opportunity again after Friday."

Landon and I spent the following day together running final errands, we went to lunch, and we had a great time together playing at the park. We came home and I ran around like a mad man cleaning our house (for the 1000 time) and triple checking that I had everything I wanted/needed for the hospital. I started to get emotional over the thought of becoming a Mommy to two instead of just Landon... typical jitters and nervousness any other mother has before having another baby. My mother-in-law took Landon for the night/next day, and then it was just Alex and I for the rest of the night.

Of course, I couldn't sleep too well... I was anxious for my pregnancy to FINALLY be over (Friday the 5th I was one day shy of being 41 weeks... barf) and my mind started thinking of all the complications that could occur... needless to say, I got about 5 hours of broken-up sleep (interrupted by the fact that I had to pee throughout the night).

So, Alex and I get up around 4:30am on Friday, get ourselves ready, enjoy our last few minutes alone together in quiet, and then head out to the hospital. We arrived and were checked in... after the initial questioning of my family history of health problems and etc, and then she asked if I had eaten or drank anything past midnight to which I told her I had made some fresh juice to drink that morning (juiced some plums, strawberries, apples and carrots).... she started going on about how my induction would have to be delayed and the anesthesiologist was going to be upset... I laughed and said I wasn't told to abstain from eating, and I don't know why I would need an epidural right off the bat before contractions actually started. Apparently the nurse thought I was going to be having a c section... my heart had jumped into my throat at that point. I told her I didn't *think* I was there for a c section, just a regular pitocen drip or what have you... she left for a few minutes to "double check" and I started to feel hysterical. Upon her coming back, she announced that I was correct and that my juice breakfast was acceptable, lol.

Then it was time to get the needle into my arm for my I.V. ... as many of you know, this is around the time with Landon's induction that Alex became ill and passed out cold in the room, slamming his head against the very hard wall and had to be taken to the ER for a few hours to get some tests done to make sure he was ok..... this time around, he sat in the corner reading his book while the nurse attempted to get the I.V. in. She first tried in my inner arm and FAILED miserably... to the point that she burst something in my arm... it was horrible pain and I got VERY light-headed... not a good thing to be when you are just barely beginning your labor journey... After getting me to feel better and stable again, she quickly checked my hand for a vein, found one and jabbed it in. Normally, needles and I.V.'s done bother me as long as I don't watch them put them in... but these suckers HURT!

Anyway, moving on.... around 7am they finally got my pitocen to start and at this point I had a new nurse. I really liked her! She was with me for a good 97% of my labor. I started off at 3.5cm dilated, having mild contractions on my own every 10-15 minutes. By 8am, they had picked up and were coming every 5-6 minutes and were a bit stronger. My doctor also came in at this time to check me... I was at 4cm. He decided to break my water as well. Everything started to pick up VERY quickly after that. As he was leaving, he told me I could get an epidural whenever I wanted and that he would see me at pushing time.

Soon after that, my contractions started coming no more than 3 minutes apart. I was hoping to get a nap in before my contractions intensified... with Landon, they didn't pick up or start getting painful until a good 4-5 hours into my labor. With Caius, they were pretty intense by 9am, two hours after my pitocen had started. Alex kept asking if I wanted him to let the nurse know I wanted an epidural, and I kept pushing it off thinking that I would hold off as long as I could.

My nurse came in around 9:30, a bit worried, as Caius' heartrate would drop significantly after each contraction... leading her to believe that his head was being compressed. She had me roll onto my side and stay that way for quite a while. His heartrate steadied itself and I was instructed to lay on my side "probably" until it was time to push. She monitored several contractions to make sure all was well, and around 10 she checked me (I was at 5.5cm) and asked if I wanted an epidural, as my contractions were "pretty intense" according to the monitor they had on my belly. I told her no, and she left. At around 10:30, I decided it was a dumb idea to not accept the epidural. I really wanted to get a nap in before Caius came, and I know how quickly things can progress towards the end.

The anesthesiologist was a very sweet guy, but unfortunately it took 3 tries to get the needle into my back. The actual needle being put in didn't bother me, but my contractions were quite strong and it was difficult to stay COMPLETELY motionless like he was requesting. After getting it in, they were going to do a "test run" to make sure it was put in successfully. I ended up vomiting at this point... I'm guessing it was from anxiety. After about 5 minutes, I felt much better. It was determined all was well with the epidural and he turned it on.

It was about 11:30 when he left the room, and Alex decided he was going to go get some lunch for himself while I tried to nap. Between 11:30 and 12:30 (when Alex came back) I got MAYBE 20 minutes of sleep in... the nurse had to wake me though because I had rolled onto my back, causing his heartrate to drop again after contractions. I rolled onto my other side and all was well in the world...

At 1pm, my nurse came in and introduced the next nurse that would be caring for me. She put a catheter in and checked me before she left and said I was at 6cm. I was a little let down by that number, as I was SURE I would have been farther along by that point... I was ready to accept that it would be an INCREDIBLY long day though. My new nurse was a great nurse as well, and she left the room to let me attempt to nap again. By this point, I was starting to feel more discomfort again so I pushed the button on my epidural to give it another "boost".

I instantly felt the cold surge go into my back. I waited a good 10 minutes or so and realized that the discomfort wasn't going away... and it was VERY awkward. To put it bluntly, it was a pressure that felt like I needed to make a #2... lol! I called the nurse and said, "I think I need to have a bowel movement..." and so she came in about 5 minutes later and grabbed a bed pan.... At this point, it's about 1:20pm. She asked me a couple questions about the "pressure" and I said it might have just felt weird because I was laying on my side. She decided to check me again, even though I had been checked 20 minutes earlier.

I was 10 centimeters and Caius' head was in the birth canal, trying to make his way out! I was in absolute SHOCK that I went from 6cm to 10 and ready to push in 20 minutes... WOW!

They called my doctor to come deliever me and started setting up the room. Another nurse (for Caius) came in and set up her stuff. It was at that point that I started REALLY feeling the need to push... it was SO hard not to push. My doctor showed up promptly, and the nurses were conversing with him about how he has a record for NOT cutting women in labor that was pretty impressive. With Landon, I tore a little bit and he was my doctor, but they were right... he never once cut me. We got down to business and within about 5 minutes of his arrival, I had pushed Caius out! The cord was wrapped around his neck a good 2-3 times too... something else Landon didn't have.

Caius Jarett Thurmer was born October 5th, 2012 at 1:36pm weighing 8lbs, 14oz (AFTER peeing all over his nurse!) and was 21.5" long. He was quite a hefty fella! They cleaned him off while he layed on me (something else I didn't get with Landon... I got to see him being held by the doctor, and then they whisked him away to clean him up and get his stats taken care of..) I actually ended up with tears in my eyes when he was out. I didn't cry or tear up with Landon either... but FINALLY having Caius here was just an overwhelming emotion... it was all very cliche =)

My doctor announced at the end of all the shenanigans that I had absolutely NO tearing and he didn't have to cut me at all again. It was INCREDIBLE. My recovery has been quick and virtually painless. The only "pains" I had around my "lady parts" was mild burning from my catheter being inserted/removed and that disappeared in a matter of 36 hours.

Caius is SUCH a great baby. He hardly cries and is easily soothed. As I mentioned in my previous blog, he is a GREAT breast feeder which was all I could have hoped for. He eats and sleeps so well... he gives me 4-5 hours of straight sleep every night initially, and wakes up every 2-3 hours after that. When he DOES wake up and it's dark, he will eat, let me change his diaper, and he goes right back to sleep. He is an absolutely perfect baby. Landon is IN LOVE with his little brother and LOVES to help me with him whenever he can. It is so amazing to see them together... soooo sweet! Caius is also a VERY smiley baby! I had NO IDEA newborns could smile and mean to do it so early in life! Landon started intentionally smiling around a month old, and that's the norm for most babies. But Caius just smiles and smiles and smiles and tries to coo at you when you talk to him... it's the sweetest thing ever!

I am so glad I had such a short labor, a picture perfect vaginal delivery, and a healthy, happy, beautiful baby to show for it all =) I know not everybody gets the kind of delivery they hope for, and not everybody gets to have a baby... I thank God every day for the blessings he's given me and I couldn't ask for more in life <3

Monday, October 8, 2012

He's here!!!

I will do a full-on birth story another day, but I just wanted to take a minute to update this blog and say that HE'S HERE!!!

Induction was Friday the 5th at 6am and all went as planned. Caius Jarett Thurmer was born at 1:36pm October 5th, 2012 weighing 8lbs 14oz and 21.5" long! BIG BOY!

We are home (today was our first FULL day at home, last night was our first night at home!) and we are doing so well. He has been nothing but a complete delight and has fit into our lives so easily. He's a carefree baby so far and breastfeeds like a champ! =) Landon has been a complete angel with Caius and has shown absolutely NO jealousy. He kisses Caius, tells him he loves him, tickles him, hugs him, LOVES holding him.... they are the most precious site to see together. My heart bubbles over with pride and gushes love when I see them together. Landon couldn't be more proud to be a big brother!

I have had my milk come in in the last 24 hours and have been able to exclusively breastfeed Caius AND I am building a nice little stash in our freezer for when I go back to work. Sadly, today we had to introduce the bottle to Caius. He did well with it, but it killed me to give him the bottle over breast. I will be away for a few hours tomorrow while Alex is home with both boys and will need to be able to feed Caius.... luckily, it will only be a couple hours for this one day, and then no more again until I go back to work. Hopefully having the bottle these few hours will not mess up the great breastfeeding experience we are having.... I never got this experience with Landon and I am adoring it with Caius.

He is so precious and perfect... I am so thankful he is here finally! We waited years for him and it's hard to believe that after all this time he is finally here for good. It's a wonderful, fulfilling feeling. Thank you Lord for blessing me with these amazing boys <3

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Final thoughts

So, it is the night before my induction.. getting induced in 9 hours. I will be getting up and getting ready in 7 hours. It has ALL boiled down to tomorrow.... I can't believe it!

I feel like I'm in complete denial. I know it's typical to have stresses and concerns and anxiousness and butterflies in your stomach.... I know my labor will only last until he's born and it will all be worth it and pretty soon these days will all just be a "thing of the past"... but I am having a hard time convincing myself that by this time tomorrow, Caius will MORE than likely be with us. It's crazy to say out loud...

Landon is at Alex's mom's house for the night (possibly two nights... not sure entirely how that's all going to go down..) and he is thrilled to be seeing his brother next time he sees Alex and I.

I spent the whole day with Landon and enjoyed every little minute I possibly could! It's bittersweet to think that I will never have this kind of undivided attention to give him again. That is quite possibly the most emotional part of this whole ordeal for me... he will be a great big brother and I know he will adjust to Caius being around and sharing his attention, but I can't help but feel a sense of guilt. He's been the one-and-only "baby" for the last almost-five years, and tomorrow that will all be ripped away from him. It's a whole new chapter in life for all of us, but I still feel slightly "off" about it....

I know I will miss being pregnant shortly after having Caius for many reasons, but that is another emotion I am battling with right now. I am SO uncomfortable and SO ready to have my body back! I will never be this close with Caius again though. He will be his own independent little guy from here on out and he will grow and blossom like Landon has and continues to do so. Again, it's all so bittersweet....

I'm excited and anxious to get tomorrow's show on the road, but at the same time, it now feels like time is doing nothing but playing in fast-forward. I want to enjoy these last few hours of being pregnant and being so connected with Caius, and they feel like they are being ripped away from me. Today has been a blur of running around and completing some final errands before tomorrow, but I am so thankful I took the time to be with Landon and have as much one-on-one time as I could squeeze out of the day.

This whole post is a random rambling mess, but I really don't care at this point. I'm emotional in so many ways and have no idea how to express them except through tears at the moment: tears of joy, tears of fear, tears of anxiety and guilt, tears of excitement.... I am a big ball of absurd amounts of emotion! I just wanted to take an extra few minutes before I head off to bed to jot down all of these things so I can reflect on them somewhere down the road... sentimental value plays such an important role in my life <3

So my next blog entry will be pictures of Caius and updates on how everything went down! I pray God gives me the strength and stamina to make it through tomorrow's labor and delivery of my second, LONG-awaited precious little miracle.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Good news!

Just got back home from my appointment... and it was my last!!

My doctor took pity on me (he seemed VERY happy to comply!!) and agreed to induce me come 6am this Friday! Chances are that Caius will be born October 5! While I tried to convince the doctor I am ready TODAY or TOMORROW for induction, he insisted that we have one last FULL day as a family of 3 before baby #2 joins us.

I am so excited and anxious to FINALLY get to meet our new precious little boy! I can't wait! I was disappointed on the way home because I really wanted to meet him today or tomorrow, but the more I think about it, the more I am thankful to have one final day with Landon to myself. We will make every minute count tomorrow and have a great last day. Alex will still have to work tomorrow, but at least he will be home until next Wednesday after that =)

I am very excited to FINALLY have Caius come and all four of us be together <3

Still Pregnant...

Yup, still here and still pregnant. It's October 3, and I am 4 days overdue now. Whatever "weirdness" I was feeling a few days ago obviously turned out to be nothing.

I don't think this boy is coming on his own. I can't take it anymore for many reasons. The next person to tell me to "relax" or "your time will come" or "you won't be pregnant forever... he will be here soon enough" I will PUNCH IN THE FACE. I am SICK of hearing it. I understand you went 41 or 42+ weeks before your kids were born and blah blah blah.... I guarantee you felt THE SAME WAY I am feeling at this point and didn't want to hear anybody else tell you the above crap. It's annoying and it just irritates the piss out of me.

In any case, I have an appointment at 1:30 today.... I have read that most doctors (once you are past 40 weeks) will offer to induce you if A) you have any kind of dilation/ripening of your cervix and B) the hospital isn't full of other women in labor. I've been 2.5cm dilated and 50% effaced for 2 weeks now... I MIGHT be more so this time around, although I am not betting on it. So hopefully my doctor offers to induce... if not, I will LITERALLY get on my knees in tears and BEG him to do so. Caius has seemingly been in my birth canal for a good 4 days straight now (longest he's ever stayed there... not like he has much else of a place to go!) and it gets so painful to walk and move at times that I have been staying in bed and/or sitting down most of my days now.

I keep telling myself there's no way my doctor would NOT offer to induce me at this point, but I woke up this morning and starting thinking, "What IF he decides NOT to offer?"

Or worse, if he denies my request to be induced.

If I get denied, I am certain I will be in tears for a few days.... I love Caius and am excited for him to get here and everything I have been through thus far has been worth it to get him here, BUT I am huge, exhausted, grumpy and just DONE with being pregnant. I cannot stress that enough.. I. AM. DONE.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Is this it finally???

So, it's October 1st, and we will officially have an October baby now. I'm over that fact at this point; I just want him here!

Yesterday afternoon around 4:30 I started having mild contractions off and on, but it was the first time I have had them while it feels like his head was engaged. After several hours (I stayed up until about 11pm) the contractions didn't disappear. However, they hadn't gotten any closer together either. I decided I would just sleep and see what the next day brought. I had just assumed my body would do what it has done every other time: reset itself and I would feel great by morning.

Luckily, I have been wrong so far!

I woke up at LEAST 3 times I can remember to painful contractions... again, nothing regular, but they were quite painful and I couldn't sleep until they were over. Fast forward to 5am, I woke up again but this time to go to the bathroom. When I was finished, I laid in bed wide awake. My contractions were still going. About 5:30am rolled around and Alex's alarm for work didn't go off, so I ended up waking him up myself (very lucky that I was up at that time to get him up!) so I got up with him and spent a little bit of time with him.

I ended up being awake with a couple contractions until about 7:30ish. I fell back asleep and Landon woke me up an hour later. I've been up for an hour now, and since I got up at 5, things have just felt "different" in my body... it's hard to describe. It's almost like the achy muscle feeling you get when you have extreme menstrual cramps (sometimes it affects how your legs feel... and that's what is I am feeling currently) plus I am STILL having contractions. They are more intense than they were yesterday, but I don't think they are any closer together.

I have no idea if this is FINALLY baby day or what, but I am REAAAAAALLY hoping it is! All I can do it go about my day, wait and find out....

To be continued!