down in the dumps

It's amazing how easily the reality of things can just pile up on you in a random moment... and trying to process through it all can seem impossible.

Over the past few hours, that's exactly what's happened to me.

All my doubts and fears about adding another member to our family has just become frightening to me. I have to keep reminding myself we MEANT for this to happen. It will be okay in the end. We wouldn't have done this if we weren't sure we could make it work. Then my mind just wanders off into the unknown world of "what if's".

I do my best to relax and take things as they come... I know full well life will ALWAYS happen and the way you perceive things in your mind's eye will not always come true. I am okay with that, that's the beauty of living.  But so help me, at least once a month or every other month, everything just weighs on me like a ton of bricks. It's hard to think through all the "problems" before me and figure out what we are going to do. It's exhausting and frustrating.

I think that's God's way of telling you to stop trying to tackle things head-on for one day, and to try again another day. A few good hours of sleep and some relaxing time always do me good and the answers become clear.

That's where I'm at right now. I'm tired, I'm frustrated, and I'm just confused on a few separate subjects. It makes me emotional and disturbed to have these kinds of thoughts, let alone not being able to product solutions for them. I'm going to try and calm myself. I will probably put Landon to bed early tonight and hide in my room for a while..... I just can't handle this day any longer.