Friday, August 12, 2011

waiting, waiting, playing the waaaaaiting game

This has been such a long few weeks! The more I learn about cycles, problems, and everything else to do with TTC... It makes me wish I could UNlearn all this crud. I got knocked up so easily before without meaning to, WHILE ON BIRTH CONTROL. I am trying not to think bout it all and relax, but its really hard to not obsess.... REALLY HARD.

Ive sporatically taken 3 of my ovulation tests simply to give me something to do. The 18th I will start testing with the OPKs every other day until my test line gets darker... Then I will take them every day until a few days after I get my positive test. Then starts another round of the wait game. At least after I confirm my ovulation occurs, I can start taking preggo tests 7-9 days after and track any potential positive. I doubt we will get lucky and conceive this month, but I am excited for when we do get our BFP!! I will have a nice bunch of pee sticks showing the progressive appearance of that beautiful second line!

I know to most people, I will seem crazy and obsessive... Which I am. Its crazy how once we decided on when we would put the effort into having a second baby, all my thoughts are revolving around it. Even peeing on sticks seems to be the most exciting part of my day, regardless of what the results tell me. Im crazy and sick in the head, yes, but can you really blame me for wanting to heighten our chances and putting my heart into it 100%?

This has been quite an extensive journey thus far, and its only begun! Even though im driving myself insane with anxiety, I am thoroughly enjoying the ride and wouldnt trade it for anything else... The destination will be well worth it!

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