I cannot believe how incredibly anxious I am for my ovulation now! It's crazy to think I got pregnant the first time around just by being careless and because we were younger/ignorant. It just kind of crept up on me! Now that we are older, married, stable, and all the other fun words you wanna add... time is DRAGGING! I've always wanted kids. If there's nothing else in life I am sure of, I DO know that ever since I was a young child I have always wanted to get married to a wonderful person and be a mom. That thought process has never changed or even partially altered throughout my life.
Landon may frustrate me, anger me, test me, defy me, and make me wish I could slam my head into a brick wall, he is the most amazing human being I have ever had the privilege of having in my life. What's more, just knowing that I created him and he is half of me just makes it even better! He's perfect in every way even with his flaws. He's so intelligent, creative, thoughtful, loving, spunky, spontaneous, exciting and completely adorable. If we would be able to create another little boy (or girl!) even HALF as wonderful as Landon is, we will be the luckiest parents in the whole world! It's been almost 4 years now that he's been alive, and about 4.5 years since we found out about his existence... and I still think it's too good to be true at times. I look at him sometimes and think, "My God, I cannot believe he is mine. He is too perfect for words." I don't know what I did in my life to deserve such an incredible child, but I thank the Good Lord above every day for him.
He's been asking if I have a baby belly yet or not. He is so excited at the thought of becoming a big brother someday and having a little baby around the house... of course, he doesn't entirely understand that it won't be the kind of baby where we play with him/her for a few hours and send the baby home to someone else's house... lol!! He is so gentle and affectionate with our friends' babies and I believe he is going to be such an awesome big brother!
I am so anxious to start taking my ovulation pee sticks and get that positive result! Then I can start taking pregnancy tests a good 7 or 8 days past ovulation, and pray that over time I will see a second line, and see it get darker every day! I know I shouldn't get myself all wound up over it, especially since we might not get our BFP for months... or heck, even years! I don't know... only God knows =) But darn it if I'm not going to track my cycles and try my darnedest to help our chances any way I can!
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